Akhu’s take on Session 4:
Regret and mercy. These are on my mind after today. I am still worked up over the messed up past couple of days. I’ll forgo my usual refined, poised entries in favor a stream of consciousness approach.
Mercy has been on my mind recently. It is nascent concept to me and I am still trying to understand its uses and limitations. I thought it was an alternate to death, a conservative approach to an otherwise hostile situation. Perhaps the subject is worth more to you dead than alive or perhaps the fallout from the subject’s death would be catastrophic. Now I see mercy as a manipulative tool, a way to perpetuate a ruse. It all started with Raegi showing a thug mercy. Little to my knowledge, they 2 were in league. Why bother? I don’t get it—why such an elaborate ruse? Raegi could have simply hung back and then offered to take us out to dinner to thank us for helping him out. If the goal was to recruit some gullible townies to fetch supplies for him and avoid being seen, this wasn’t necessary. Anyway, mercy was just a way to further establish a ruse or to keep hired help around—it had no philosophical or morale implications. Regardless, I do not regret showing mercy to the misguided gremlin. It was a good experiment and I learn from Raegi’s “mercy” in the alley, from my mercy with the gremlin, and more about Raegi’s use of “mercy” now that I know his allegiances.
Which brings me to regret. The past month has been one of the most eventful months in my life. It ranks up there with the month in which I was born and the month I fled from the jungle. I have learned a lot about life and about myself. To recap, I have learned that I have a viscous penchant for vengeance that is overcome only by my desire to be correct. I hate being made a fool and I hate being wrong. Oddly, I don’t like being predictable which may seem counterintuitive at this point. Over all, I regret very few decisions that I have made over the past month because they have made me who I am now and I have learned from these mistakes. The one regret I have is killing the giants outside of Osena. I should have told Nokal, “sure, we’ll save the town,” take the wands, and then sought out a good vantage point from which to view the carnage as the giants flattened Osena. How I hate this town! It did not and does not deserve to remain—it is run by degenerates, guarded by the incompetent, and inhabited by those who fail to challenge these establishments. Ahh, I am being a bit harsh, there are plenty of “good” people that remain in Osena—the stay right over there (pointing to the town graveyard.) —Gheed is a piece of crap. Cleaned his bathrooms and nearly got stiffed payment. Saved the MT precious shipment, saved and healed most of the MT guards and we get a “thanks, sure am busy now.” No reward, no offer for a discount out of town. Had he offered I would have asked for a discount to get Lem outta town. He’s probably too pathetic to handle the journey but it’s the thought that matters. —The blacksmith is a piece of crap: Communication. That’s what everyone is this town needs so sorely. Tell me what you need done and how much the pay will be. That’s how business is done. Show some tact, business acumen, and respect to clients/employees. —The Watch is incompetent. Well, unless you have a hole in the ground that needs observation. I am sure that is the extent of their use. They failed to find the source of the gremlin invasion. They failed to find Eli and Brock—known criminal and a scourge upon the town. Better yet, when they knew of powerful criminals holed up in a mansion, what did they do? They try to tippy-toe in and amaze the criminal by how underwhelming they can perform. Totally bungled the operation. Why not quickly surround the house and rush in with all watch members and/or wizards from the school. Oh, they didn’t want to alarm the rich! I am sure the rich didn’t see all the dead bodies being carted out of the house and thought the sound of furniture breaking, and death throes were perfectly normal. Wouldn’t they much rather know that there was trouble in the house and it was dealt with completely, quickly, and properly? I would feel safer knowing this. Instead, a powerful scoundrel escaped. He’ll most likely return. I have no faith in Felix. He was unknown until yesterday but presto we now have a head investigator who is in charge of Eli, Brock, and “Raegi” in custody. I doubt he’ll be able to extract information from any of them. I wouldn’t be surprised if he is working with them and when I visit the watch tomorrow, Eli and Brock have escaped, and “Reagi” is sipping tea whilst receiving a happy ending massage from Felix. Pathetic. Baaa. Gressen is out of touch. Yes another person in town using us as pawns. Grr, I hate being taken advantage of. He runs the school but is somehow involved with girls in the slum. Reeks of a scandal. I no longer trust him or really anyone in town. Really, sending us all the way out of town to investigate a clearly bogus claim? What is he really up to? He must have something nasty planned with Felix, the fake Raegi, and/or the real Raegi. He just needs to get us out of town because we ask questions and have proven that we can handle ourselves more so than others. It is a setup. The MT travelers escorting us with turn on us once outside of town. He’s allied with Gheed. No one tells us the whole truth. Perhaps, I need to learn how to proper ask or how to properly force it out of someone. I have been little but an unwitting pawn the past month. No more! From now on, I pledge to follow my instinct whether it right or wrong. My gut will be wrong at times but I’ll be true to me. Friedlief agrees. A simple nod of our heads, and it’ll start. I distrusted Ettan from the moment I met him. We should have nodded then and beaten information out of him. He never sat right with me. Vaessen may see the benefit of this. Joe won’t like it—his heart it too pure and not yet jaded. No disrespect to Joe, I’ll have his back anyway and there is no one else who I want to have my back but I mean the guy sews in his spare time. I’d write more, but I need to break something now. Then I go to the library. Perhaps I will research giants and somehow send them a note apologizing for the misunderstanding and requesting them to send a delegation to Osena so that reparation can be made. We’ll be out of town—maybe lurking outside of town waiting for Gressen to reveal his true self or having wine in a far off land.